![[PukiWiki]](image/pukiwiki.png "[PukiWiki]")
https://bit.ly/3npJ5IA https://bit.ly/3K7L8uV https://bit.ly/3GxJ5Oy https://bit.ly/3fmTosD https://bit.ly/3npJ8UM https://bit.ly/3tmKFyW https://bit.ly/3rhSyTE https://bit.ly/33ziYbo I don't choose to love my partner - I can't help but love her and I don't think she can choose to submit to me. I see. I think we are working under different definitions here. I think of love as a choice. No, I may not be able to choose whether my partner is compatible with me or whether he is the type of person I would want to live with. I do, however, choose to do all the things that keep me in love with him and all the things that keeps our relationshp connected and growing from year to year. "Love's not just something that we're in, it's something that we do." In the beginning, I think it felt like a compulsion. The first day I met him, I wanted to spend all my time with him and it was hard for me to stay where I was if I could hear him moving around in the other room. Now, I think that all the things I choose to do for and with him (and he with and for me) keeps us in love. Choosing to see what is good about him and not getting lost in all the little inanities that can totally cloud the good parts is a lot of work. It is what makes the love stay for us, I think. (Btw, I am not saying that your relationship is new, only relating my own experience.) Would I want to live without him? No, but sometimes I have to actively remember that, LOL. Another thing for me is that, though I feel I am naturally submissive in that I feel emotionally secure when I am more of a follower, being submissive feels very unnatural to me, intellectually and my mind rebels against it very often. I have to remember to listen to my heart at these times, but it is, again, work. So that is not a compulsion either though it is a need. Also as I asked before, if submission is a gift, is not the same true of dominance? Yes, I would say the same is true of dominance. No matter how comfortable my man is with being dominant, it is still work and the fact that he loves me enough to do that work and enjoy it is a beautiful gift. The fact that I am willing to overcome my urges to control things and give him my submission takes work from me and that is a gift to him. I think you are right and that we are just talking about the same thing with different terms; semantics. I also am not saying you are wrong, I think, in fact, that we agree. I am just relating my experience. FWIW Otter*
