![[PukiWiki]](image/pukiwiki.png "[PukiWiki]")
https://bit.ly/3NsvEmP https://bit.ly/36V2wnw https://bit.ly/3DiNWCm https://bit.ly/3tPE67C https://bit.ly/3iGPAEm https://bit.ly/3IOpM3L https://bit.ly/3Nvzrj3 https://bit.ly/3ISbOh8 https://bit.ly/3tNX5zJ https://bit.ly/3IQ3hLR Someone asked me in email recently why there are so many more websites and books devoted to BDSM than there are to Taken In Hand which has some similarities to BDSM but is in some ways closer to more conventional relationships. The Taken In Hand website has only existed for a little over a year, so not everyone who might be interested has found us yet. (Do tell everyone about it and mention the site when you post elsewhere on the internet!) But I think there is another reason for the popularity of BDSM over Taken In Hand – one that won’t necessarily always be the case, and one that also sheds light on why some Taken In Hand folk find BDSM as distasteful as many BDSM folk find Taken In Hand (even if none of us would want to impose our own preferences on others). Those in the BDSM community have worked tirelessly to develop an ethos that is responsible (anti-abuse, etc.) and acceptable to more conventional folk. This work has been very successful. Whilst most people are not particularly drawn to BDSM themselves, they do not regard those in the BDSM community as mentally ill (any more). To the extent that they know of its existence, most people are aware that BDSM is firmly a part of the liberal tradition rather than a throwback to the bad old days. The BDSM community has successfully argued that BDSM is not a threat to the individual rights we have rightly fought so hard for, it is a sexual kink or lifestyle individuals can legitimately choose. BDSM writers typically stress consent and safety, often advocating the use of a “safeword” when “playing” or in a “scene”. Some devote much space to stressing that the control and dominance expressed in these “scenes” is just pretend, not real. BDSM people are proud of the fact that their forums are open to people of all inclinations and orientations.
