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I don't think I am particularly emotionally stable actually. And I can understand that if you are hankering for dominance you might try and goad a man into being more dominant. I've done that in the past with one or two boyfriends, teasing or being a bit provocative in order to provoke a dominant reaction. But it never worked with men who simply weren't that way inclined. And I think the point at which you realise that it's not going to work,a nd that you simply can't provoke a man into being dominant if he's not, should fall somewhat short of doing something that is actually going to put your life at risk.

Apark from anything else, if the only thing that can provoke a dominant reaction in him is risking your life, then wouldn't you have to keep on doing that in order to get the dominance you crave? Surely that would get a bit wearing over time, for both of you. I think even when I was young, I would have thrown the towel in on the provocation long before I reached the risking the life stage.

"This man is not the kind of man who goes in for putting his foot down, laying down rules etc" I think you need to say to yourself eventually "either I accept that, or I move on" In my own case, I had seen a lot of films in which the heroine gets spanked after she has provoked the hero in some way, and I used to try that from time to time, but in most cases, unless the man knows definitely that this is something that you want him to do, it's not going to happen. And as for laying down rules, setting boundaries etc, again, unless the man knows that's what you want, I don't think a lot of men will do it, especially nowadays when a more egalitarian relationship is considered the norm.

A number of women have written on here about marrying non-dominant men and only discovering later that they have a dominant side, and that's great, but I think there must be a safer way of discovering if a man is dominant or not than by putting yourself in a life-threatening situation.
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