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Did he have to shove me, or slap at me. No, he never. Yet he still dominates me. He also loves me and took the time to find out what my needs are. What happened to me to make me who I am and who I was.

Some women like to play 'rough'. That doesn't make the man an abuser. He is participating in a mutual sport. If he can draw the line of restraint, then he is only engaging. The same if someone drinks or smokes pot. If they are an addictive personality, they very well might make it to alcoholic or drug abuse. Or they can smoke or drink for years in moderation and be just fine.

To each their own. I for one do not like rough play, in any way shape or form. I do not like raised voices nor unexpected moves.

I know that love seems to be a kind of dirty word to some, and it doesn't seem to play so much in the relationships that others want. But if a partner who respects you, loves you enough to know what you want or need, then it's apples and oranges. What's good for me is good for you. As long as it's what you want....Blush

by Blush on 2004 Nov 27 - 21:11 | reply to this comment
Apples and Oranges
I completely agree, Blush! I have been married for close to 20 years, and within 5 minutes of meeting the man I would later marry he had a hold on me. I was acting like a shrew and he told me if it continued he'd turn me over his knee. I couldn't believe it, but I believed HIM! Once we started dating I quivered at his strength...quiet strength, never bullying, but all ablout me and US...what was best for US as a couple, we came first, I came first. And when I acted like a shrew he told me off, backed me against a wall, held my hands behind my back while he kissed me, and yes, made good on his threat once or twice and tanned my hide. I never consented, we never had agreements about "punishable offences"; he threatened, I didn't take him at his word, and I paid! I couldn't imagine calling the police..."HI, yes, um (sniff!), he, um, SPANKED ME! WAHHHHH!" The rolling of the policmans eyes would be never-ending, given the true domestic abuse they witness on a dialy basis. So, I get you, DeeMarie, and Blush, too! I have had "wannabe" relationships like this in the past, where the guy wants to be, and probally is, dominant, but was scared off by MY STRENGTH. As my man told me once, "You're hell on wheels, lady! Lucky for all of us I'm alot tougher than you and I can handle you when and IF I have to!" It's comforting, as Blush can attest to!
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